“There’s something wrong with me
and it reads nothing like poetry.
So will you love me in spite of these ticks and inconsistencies?
Oh there is something wrong with me.”
– Frightened Rabbit, Dead Now
Part 1: Don’t worry about me
If I know myself, which I don’t, although I think it’s safe to say I know myself better than anyone else, the journal/random thoughts part of this blog will be chock full of a lot of self-loathing and self-pity, and I’ll be putting myself down a lot of the time. Now, to be clear, this isn’t a cry for attention or help. I realize how it’ll sound, and I know I revel in the teenage-angst cliché stereotype a little too much, but I just want to make it clear that you don’t have to worry about me.
One of my biggest philosophies is that it is my sworn duty to take the bad and make something good out of it, make something that others can appreciate, whether it’s by making you laugh, making you feel something, or by connecting with someone who might be going through the same or similar struggles, letting them know that they’re not alone. I know, I know, how very heroic of me. Which brings me to
Part 2: Forgive the asshole
Along with the sarcasm, dark humor, and comments that reflect my questionable mental health, you’ll also find that I’m a cynical romantic, which essentially means that for every sappy thing I say there’ll probably be an acknowledgment of my recognition of how stupidly idealistic and hopelessly romantic the notion is. This can lead to a lot of confusion and contradictions, not to mention it probably makes me look like an asshole a lot of the time. The disclaimer being you can probably expect to be offended if not at the very least put off by something I say at least once, and right off the bat I’m going to apologize. So, sorry. That is, assuming you decide to follow the journal part of this blog at all. Speaking of which,
Part 3: Feel free to ignore me
Wow, I am on a roll with these transitions. But getting back to the point: if any of you dear, sweet followers decide you aren’t interested in the journal/random thoughts part of this blog, I won’t hold it against you if you’re just here for the short stories. I totally get it; really, I do. I mean, I don’t even like me, so to expect anyone else to like me to the point that they’ll want to read about me is kind of a stretch. So. No hard feelings if this isn’t your cup of tea. And of course I’d hate to lose followers just because they don’t like the journal. Like I said in my first post, the main point of this blog is to host my short stories, not to write about my amazing and interesting life. This is more of a personal thing, doubling as my own metaphorical punching bag for venting and as a writing exercise kinda thing. That being said, there won’t be any real consistency or structure to the journal/random thoughts, hence the name, and hence
Part 4: Don’t getcha expectations up, kid
Hence is a fun word. It’s got a nice ring to it, and it’s just obscure enough that it has an atmosphere of fanciness but not so much that people don’t know what it means. But let’s not get sidetracked; we’re here to talk about me getting sidetracked. It’s inevitable, really. As mentioned in First Impressions, I am not good with consistency. This won’t be like a dear diary daily entry thing, with a predictable schedule, or even consistent entries. I’ll be writing about everything from my life and experiences to my thoughts on the most random of topics. So if you’re looking for predictability, you’ve come to the wrong taco.
Part 5: How can wind even be long?
As is evident like, right now, I tend to be long-winded (whatever the fuck that means). I can go on for pages on end about shit-all, and yet when I sit myself down to work on one of my books or short stories, does this amazing flow of words and inspiration continue? Noooooo, because that would be too easy, wouldn’t it? Instead, let’s introduce him to a little something called Writer’s Block. Anyways- back to the point. I can go on forever and ever sometimes, and if it gets boring I apologize. Feel free to ditch halfway (or quarterway, or wheneverway) through if it’s just not cutting it.
I think that’s about it for the disclaimers, sorry that took so long. If you made it this far, I’ll reward you with this. Happy reading and good luck out there.