“Yeah the devil’s on your back but I know you can shake him off
And every day that you want to waste
That you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up
And you want to wake, you can”
– Foster the People, Waste
I’m a bastard.
No, not that kind of bastard. To the best of my knowledge I’m within the range of legitimacy to put me in the clear. Alas, unfortunately I’m the other kind of bastard. The asshole kind. But like the illegitimates of the world, my state of bastard-ness is just as much a result of events entirely out of my control as it is for them. Or so I’d like to believe.
As much as I’d like to pass the blame off on society and my upbringing and whatnot, I know that at the end of the day, that 1% of freewill I talked about in my last post counts a lot more than you’d think. I mean sure, we’re definitely shaped by everything we experience, but the outcome is still up to us. Our lives may plant the seed inside us, but when the seed cracks and the darkness stirs, it’s still trapped within us, and we are the ones who decide whether or not we let it out. Even an addict suffering from the most powerful of withdrawals will still be given a choice.
What I’m trying to say is that while I’d love to just float on through life on the soft cushion of knowledge that my faults are not my own and I am not to blame when I screw up, that’s simply not the case. Sure, we can take solace and comfort in the fact every now and then, but we have to be wary that we don’t let it consume us.
Our situations may not be our choice, but the outcomes are.
The fact that we are 99% the product of our experiences etcetera etcetera and only 1% freewill shouldn’t be taken as justification for screwing up. It should be taken as a challenge, or at the very least an acceptance of our own responsibility for ourselves. Because no matter what the odds are, there will always be that 1%. You will always be accountable. And while that may seem like a burden for those hoping to board the train of guiltlessness and unaccountability, it’s also a blessing. Because that 1% means there will always be hope. No matter how heavily the odds may seem stacked against you, you still have final say in the matter.
We do not do things because the majority of our thinking outweighed the minority; we do things because the majority either wins over or snuffs out the minority. In other words, in order to decide to do something, you have to decide as a whole. That means all of you has to either agree or consent to it. Even if that bastard-born 99% says go, that 1% still has to be settled before you can act. And that 1% is up to you.
Make it count.