Update#6 – New Endings / Old Beginnings

Maybe I’ve been looking at this wrong.  Maybe it’s not about using art as an excuse to live.  Maybe it’s about using art as a reason to live.  I do want to complete my books.  I do want to become a published author.  I do have dreams and aspirations, regardless of what the cynical asshole might tell you.  Maybe I need to stop looking at the negative aspects of life (barring for the moment the inconvenient fact that they seem to find me just fine without my help) and start trying to live for my art.

This isn’t me making a vow to turn over a new leaf or anything as dramatic or romantic as that; I’m just thinking out loud (on paper (on my laptop)).  And no, I’m not going to suddenly become one of those self-help preaching optimists who believes in “good vibes” and all that bullshit (although if I do please find me and kill me).  But I’m starting to think maybe suicide doesn’t have to be how my story ends.

It won’t be the first time I’ve attempted to make a change for the (relatively) better, and needless to say they haven’t exactly always gone to plan in the past.  Most notable among these was my first year at university, in which I attempted to reinvent myself and everything went to shit, which coincidentally enough just so happened to set off this whole mess of a blog in the first place.  Which I guess just goes to show that maybe good can come out of bad after all (oh god it’s starting someone please kill me).

What does all this have to do with Updates and Other Such Boring Real-World Stuff?  Well, I’m glad you asked.  I’ve decided that hand in hand with this not-so-new new beginning is that I’m going to really start going ham on this blog.  Yeah, you heard me.  HAM.

Seeing as I’m nor really doing anything else with my life anyways, I’m going to be investing more time in my writing, and hopefully you’ll start to see it come to fruition in some more new short stories, maybe even (dare I say it?) coming out at less of a trickle and more of a flow (yeah, right).  By the way, perfect segue into some self-advertisement: have you read the new one yet?  It’s called │, or for convenience’s sake you can call it “Untitled” when you tell all your friends and family about how great it was.

But wait, there’s more!  Not only will I be going ham on fiction writing, but I’ve also decided to go through with my previously mentioned idea of another category, in which I break down and explain/analyze my short stories.  You know, the one I asked your opinions on and received no feedback whatsoever?  That’s right, I’m guilt-tripping you.  Deal with it.

Speaking of new categories, some of you may have noticed that I’ve already got one: Favorites (Of mine.  They’re my favorites.  Even if they’re no one else’s).  And in case you were wondering, the answer is yes: this is another attempt to guilt-trip you.  Basically these are just my favorites (duh) from all my Journal / Random Thoughts entries, all compiled into a quick and easy read for anyone just hoping to get a sense of what the hell is going on in this blog before they dive in.  Note: short stories are not included in this category, because I love all my short stories equally (except for one.  You know who you are).

Alright, I think I’ve rambled on for long enough.  I guess I’m in a good mood.  Maybe this one doesn’t have to end in tragedy.

Good luck out there, my lucky (holy shit!) 23 followers.

– The Modern Leper


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