Update #who-gives-a-shit – End of the Road(trip)

As the above gif and title of this post would suggest, I have officially returned from my road trip.  If this were anyone else the rest of this post would probably be dedicated to recounting fantastic tales of my adventure, but this is me, so instead we’re going to fly right past all that interesting stuff and move straight on to narcissistic self-promotion/self-deprecation.

First off I’d just like to make a little note of the fact that in my absence comments seem to have severely declined, which is hard to believe considering how low they were to begin with.  I’m being petty again, I know, but hear me out.  I can accept that not every post requires or warrants a comment, and certainly if it didn’t stimulate your thoughts enough to deserve such feedback then by all means don’t force it.  That being said, if (and I must emphasise the if) the reason you’re not commenting is because I haven’t been commenting on your own blogs, then we have a problem.

I know I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating: I follow blogs because I enjoy and admire their content (and by default their authors).  There is not a single person on that list who I follow out of some misguided sense of “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours”.  If I follow your blog, it means I like what you have to say.  If I like and comment on a post, it’s because it resounded with me.  Generally speaking I’m a pretty complicated guy, but in this I’m simple: I mean what I say and I say what I mean.  All I ask of you is that you do the same.  If you don’t enjoy reading my blog then fine: don’t.  I don’t want people following me simply because I follow them.  I don’t want pity likes or sympathy follows.

I’m not going to unfollow anyone just because they don’t read my blog.  Look- I get it.  I’m not an easy guy to like.  I’m insecure, petty, self-absorbed and self-loathing.  Shit like that gets old fast, and it can be annoying.  Hell, I know it better than anyone: why do you think I hate myself?  The last thing I need right now is to be constantly trying to gauge people’s opinions of me.  I could never tell where my old friends stood, so I cut them out.  So this is it.  If you’re not in it for the long haul, then this is the end of the road.  If you unfollow me now there won’t be any hard feelings.  You’ll still see me on your own blogs (assuming I’m currently following you) and I’ll be just as avid and involved a reader as I am now.

I just need to know where you stand.  If you stay, I’ll assume you really want to stay, and that way I’ll know the difference between when you don’t like certain posts and when you don’t like me.  I don’t want anyone’s pity, and this isn’t a cry for help or a cry for attention.

It’s just me.


11 thoughts on “Update #who-gives-a-shit – End of the Road(trip)

  1. My comment seems to have disappeared so I’ll attempt to recreate it…

    If people want to comment on your post, they will. If they don’t, they won’t. I believe it is as simple as that and there’s not a thing you can do about it, so it’s not worth the sweat. If people are following and liking your posts it’s fair to assume they are enjoying your blog. Keep writing ☺

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You’re right, you’re right. I always overthink things like this and get myself so worked up over nothing. I think I just have a hard time trusting people, or more specifically trusting that people might honestly be interested in me or what I have to say. I don’t like myself, so it’s hard to fathom the possibility that others might. Thanks Caroline. Why you put up with me I have no idea.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You might be expecting too much from this forum. Writers’ groups on Facebook enjoy a more interactive approach. On WordPress, unfortunately, it is give and take. By nature, people follow many blogs. As the list gets longer the interaction becomes less casual and more response driven. If I don’t post, I get no likes or comments. That’s how it works. If you want feedback, you have to give input, otherwise the conversation is one sided.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Maybe you’re right; I might be expecting too much. Is this a matter of insecurity or pride? Am I worried that people don’t like what they’re reading or angry that they don’t voice their praise? I suppose they’re two sides of the same coin, but where does that leave me? Should I stick to this, try not to let it bug me, or should I move on? The problem isn’t the forum; it’s me. I feel like if I continue to let it bother me then I’ll never get over it. Thanks for the input; I’ve got a lot to think about.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. If your reason for blogging is to work on your novel, then just keep writing and getting feedback. Polish your work with an aim to publish it. If it’s for blogging as part of a community, it makes sense to follow and have many followers to interact with. There’s nothing wrong with that. Let the fun you have writing be your inspiration, not whether people like it or not. Then it won’t matter what they think of you. Although, I can assure you, people on WordPress aren’t here to troll each other, bully, or pick fights. It doesn’t lend itself to personal opinions since you’re in control of whose comments you allow on your posts. On the other end, because people don’t comment doesn’t necessarily mean they’re not interested. We comment on many people’s work. Sometimes it gets overwhelming. So don’t take it too personal. I know when we write we wear our hearts on our sleeves. We expose deep parts of ourselves. It’s a requirement of the fiction writer if we expect to stay relevant in our field. So we do feel vulnerable. It’s what we signed up for. All I can say is: Welcome to the club. You’re in good company.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I am on the same page as Pablo, although I would take it a step further: not only are people not always inspired to comment, but sometimes they might not even have the time to read your lengthy posts. You just went on a road trip, which had you busy. Some people have a ton of things going on every day. Just check out the email I sent you in response to your last one.

    And not to be rude about it, but people don’t owe you any comments. The way of the blogging world is that not everyone will reply, even when you leave one. I cannot tell you how many times I have left in-depth, analytical comments, and all people say is, “Thanks for the comment!” Sometimes they don’t even say that much.

    If you enjoy posting, then keep doing it. You can’t let your joy of it come from other people. It has to come from within.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s something I’m beginning to realise, and trying to come to terms with. But it’s very hard to know who to trust and who not to trust, because there are people out there who more than warrant my fears; I should know, because I’ve encountered more of them in my life than not. And of course you’re right, people don’t owe me comments or likes or follows, but then why follow someone if you’re not actually going to follow them?
      I’m still trying to let go of caring what other people think of me, but I know I’ve still got a long way to go, and encountering people I can’t trust doesn’t exactly help me with trusting the people who deserve it.


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