Update # 11.5 – HOLY SHIT THE STORM’S A-COMIN’ WE WERE PROMISED A CALM BUT THERE IS NO CALM THE STORM’S ALREADY HERE

You know what?  Fack it.  I’ve been reading through what I’ve got written so far in my book, and I’m really liking it.  What’s more is that I’m really looking forward to what you all think of it.  So I think I’m going to start releasing it in sections on like a totally random schedule, just for the fun of it.

I REALLY want to know what you think, and I do mean REALLY.  Loved it, hated it, couldn’t get through it, printed it out and hung it over your bed, printed it out just so you could burn it in a symbolic cleansing, I want to know all your thoughts and criticisms.  Keep in mind I one day hope to release this as a real book, so if you notice something wrong or something that could be better or something that simply has to go, PLEASE tell me.  Your feedback is invaluable.

And so help me god if you like the post and say nothing I will hunt you down and force-feed you bleach.

Whew.  Sorry about that; I’m not sure where that came from.  Things kinda got really intense just there, huh?  Really makes you think about what a guy might do…

Stay posted for more details, and uh… I already told you good luck out there, so… I don’t know… happy hunting?

Update # 11 – The Calm Before the Storm

It’s been a while since I last gave one of these, and I figured seeing as things might be a little different in the coming weeks it was time I gave a quick little breakdown of what the hell is going on.

Before we get on with that, just in case you missed it my longest and most impulsive fiction venture to date (god I love saying that; it makes it sound so much cooler than it is) was wrapped up a while ago, and all 7 chapters are up & waiting for you here (they’re in the order they were posted in, so you’ll have to start from the bottom).  Also available is the fiction analysis for the story, which you can find here.  Okay, now that we’ve gotten that shameless plug out of the way, we can get down to the real business.

It seems The Woods and The Way served as a sort of stepping stone for my longer pieces of fiction, gearing me back up to work on something I’ve neglected for too long.  The work in question is my longest incomplete fiction venture to date, and the longest thing I’ve written ever.  As of right now it’s a stunning 210-ish pages long, and not even close to a quarter of the way complete.  Even in its present state of severely incomplete, I still consider it to be my magnum opus.

The book is the first in a planned dystopian series that I’d hoped might round off into the good ol’ trilogy setup that target markets wet themselves over, but which I’ll now be lucky to ever see the end of.  Why am I telling you this?  Well, I’m getting to that.  Jesus.  Patience is a virtue, you know.  Try it sometime.

Apparently by completing TW&TW I’ve reawakened my taste for longer works of fiction.  Now, this book has always been slow-going (it started some 7 or so years ago and has undergone countless revisions and re-revisions since), and I can’t promise this latest madman assault on such a daunting task will go any better, but goddamnit I’m going to try.  In other words, I’ll be turning away from my shorter works to focus the entirety of my limited attention span on this one project (at least until I get bored of it and move on to the next failed enterprise).

What does this mean?  Well, for starters there probably won’t be any new fiction for you sad suckers, at least for the next month or so.  I might republish a few of my older stories to satiate the masses, and maybe (just maybe) share with you lucky bastards a taste or two of my BIG project, but no new short stories or flash fiction.  Sorry.

I’ll probably still find the time to whine about how much I hate life, so you can look forward to the usual testaments to my own self-pity and fetishising of sadness.  Alas this onslaught of masochism and depression will no longer be broken by new pieces of fiction, but I’ll try to sneak some quality webcomics in every now and then to keep the mood up.

Good luck out there.

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Update # 10 – A Brief Notice

Boy, it’s always something with me, isn’t it?  As usual, I wanted to apologise for the silence.  Honestly I’m not even sure why, but recently I’ve been feeling… detached from blogging.  It’s not writer’s block, because I haven’t even been able to bring myself to read anyone else’s work either.  And I don’t think it’s depression, because life in the outside world has been pretty good recently.  Even so, whatever it is I don’t like it.

I’m trying to bring myself back to the metaphorical page (both mine and others), but I can’t make any promises.  I’m not sure what the problem is but I think I need to work through it before I try to force myself back into this.  Blogging is supposed to be enjoyable, and I don’t want to risk ruining the experience further by pushing it.

For my friends, I’m sorry I’ve been away from your own blogs, and I can’t wait to sift through the material I can only assume has built up in my absence.  Hope all is well, and of course good luck out there.

– TML

Update #9 – ProcrastiNation, for lack of the inspiration to come up with a more original title

There’s a thin line between “feeding your creative spirit with inspiration from other art sources” and “binge-watching every single television series and movie Netflix has to offer”.  I know this because I found that line three days ago when I sped past it like a bullet train to the procrastinator’s version of Dante’s Inferno.

All in all it was a pretty great trip, but man was it hard to come back.  Then there was the fact that the Rick and Morty season 3 premiere is out, and if you don’t know what Rick and Morty is then you seriously need to reevaluate your life choices up to this point.  Get your shit together.

The point being I’m not good with time management.  Or self-control, for that matter.  And let’s not forget motivation.  In fact I rarely feel motivated to do much of anything at all.  On a slight little detour down dark street, that’s actually probably one of the reasons I’m still alive now writing this instead of six feet in the ground: I was too lazy to kill myself.  And that’s not a joke- I literally mean that I never got around to suicide because it was too much work.

But back to the point.  Even with the attention span of a small rodent with ADD, there are some things you can’t just walk away from.  For me writing is one of those things.  Sometimes it just takes a few days or weeks off to remember that it’s a part of my life that can’t be ignored.  And even when I do take several weeks off without typing a single word, I know that when I do eventually get back to the drawing board those keys will welcome me back with open arms.  Metaphorically speaking, of course.  Keyboards with tiny arms would just be weird, and quite frankly a little unsettling.

So I hope you’ll forgive the occasional and sporadic lapses in content in exchange for the knowledge that it will never be permanent.  At least not unless I die, which… you know, the cards are still up in the air on that one.  But until that happens, I wish you all the best of luck out there, and so on and so forth.  Stay tuned for new content, although for the life of me I don’t know why you don’t just read through the damn archives while you wait.  Whatever.

Update #8 – Technical Difficulties and Difficult Technicalities

It feels like half of these updates are just me apologizing for lulls in blog activity.  To be fair, this time I actually have a valid excuse for the radio silence.  My laptop, an Acer Aspire from all of 5 years ago may have finally met its end.  Ol’ faithful crashed just over a week ago, and as such I’ve been hard-pressed to get back online.  The worst part is that I was in the middle of backing up my many, many files when the damn thing broke down on me, so here’s to hoping I’ll be able to salvage it.

You’re probably freaking out right now because I just told you my laptop is out of commission yet I’m still somehow on the web.  IS HE UPLOADING THIS POST WITH HIS MIND??!?!?  Well of course I’m not uploading this post with my mind; don’t be ridiculous.  I’m just using my brother’s iPad, which I’ll have you know is a pain in the ass.  Just as a general rule I hate Apple with a passion (that’s Apple the company, and not the fruit.  The fruit’s okay in my books), mostly because the software is annoyingly simplified and incredibly hard to personalize.  And no, I’m not talking about wallpapers.  There’s also my whole beef with capitalism and consumerism, but we’ll leave that for another day.

Also have you ever tried typing on one of these things?  Ugh, I hate it.  Incredibly annoying.  Disclaimer: if there’s any spelling mistakes or just really weird words in places they shouldn’t be that’s all the iPad’s dong and not mine.

All that being said, you probably won’t be hearing from me much in the next few days (probably weeks).  Of course you’ll be the first to know when (if) my laptop’s up and running again, and I might try to squeeze one or two posts out in the meantime (although preferably not on this infernal device), but don’t expect too much.  Like I always say, keep your expectations low and your head held high.  Just kidding, I’ve never said that before in my life.

But in all seriousness, I’ll be sure to make up for the lull once I’m back in business.  In the meantime, feel free to read through my archives, something I know for a fact no one has ever done before.  Those old posts aren’t going anywhere, and why wait for “new” material to be posted when there’s probably like a hundred or so posts that are still technically new to your virgin eyes?  I mean it’s not like you have anything better to do with your lives.

Until next time, thanks for (not) reading, and good luck out there.

– TML

Update #7 – Exploring My Writing and Exploring This Blog

HEYOOO!  So I just launched (a rather dramatic term, but I’ve always had a flair for the dramatic) the new Fiction Analyses category, so feel free to completely ignore it, just like I know you will.  I’ve also finally figured out how to do something that I’ve been trying to do for a long time, and that is how to put a description/summary of the category you’re in at the top of the page.  Yeah, I know, I’m a rookie, but it was a pretty momentous thing for me and I’m pretty proud of myself right now.  Things are moving fast, ladies and gentlemen!

The first analysis is already up, and it’s about the first short story I published on this site (for obvious reasons).  The plan is to go through them one by one in the order in which they’ve been published, so next up will be an analysis of Webs.  Feel free to not read it now in preparation for not reading the analysis!

As promised, I am working hard on another short story, and of course new Journal / Random Thoughts posts will be coming in as irregularly as ever.  Once again, thanks for not reading, and good luck out there!

– The Modern Leper

Update#6 – New Endings / Old Beginnings

Maybe I’ve been looking at this wrong.  Maybe it’s not about using art as an excuse to live.  Maybe it’s about using art as a reason to live.  I do want to complete my books.  I do want to become a published author.  I do have dreams and aspirations, regardless of what the cynical asshole might tell you.  Maybe I need to stop looking at the negative aspects of life (barring for the moment the inconvenient fact that they seem to find me just fine without my help) and start trying to live for my art.

This isn’t me making a vow to turn over a new leaf or anything as dramatic or romantic as that; I’m just thinking out loud (on paper (on my laptop)).  And no, I’m not going to suddenly become one of those self-help preaching optimists who believes in “good vibes” and all that bullshit (although if I do please find me and kill me).  But I’m starting to think maybe suicide doesn’t have to be how my story ends.

It won’t be the first time I’ve attempted to make a change for the (relatively) better, and needless to say they haven’t exactly always gone to plan in the past.  Most notable among these was my first year at university, in which I attempted to reinvent myself and everything went to shit, which coincidentally enough just so happened to set off this whole mess of a blog in the first place.  Which I guess just goes to show that maybe good can come out of bad after all (oh god it’s starting someone please kill me).

What does all this have to do with Updates and Other Such Boring Real-World Stuff?  Well, I’m glad you asked.  I’ve decided that hand in hand with this not-so-new new beginning is that I’m going to really start going ham on this blog.  Yeah, you heard me.  HAM.

Seeing as I’m nor really doing anything else with my life anyways, I’m going to be investing more time in my writing, and hopefully you’ll start to see it come to fruition in some more new short stories, maybe even (dare I say it?) coming out at less of a trickle and more of a flow (yeah, right).  By the way, perfect segue into some self-advertisement: have you read the new one yet?  It’s called │, or for convenience’s sake you can call it “Untitled” when you tell all your friends and family about how great it was.

But wait, there’s more!  Not only will I be going ham on fiction writing, but I’ve also decided to go through with my previously mentioned idea of another category, in which I break down and explain/analyze my short stories.  You know, the one I asked your opinions on and received no feedback whatsoever?  That’s right, I’m guilt-tripping you.  Deal with it.

Speaking of new categories, some of you may have noticed that I’ve already got one: Favorites (Of mine.  They’re my favorites.  Even if they’re no one else’s).  And in case you were wondering, the answer is yes: this is another attempt to guilt-trip you.  Basically these are just my favorites (duh) from all my Journal / Random Thoughts entries, all compiled into a quick and easy read for anyone just hoping to get a sense of what the hell is going on in this blog before they dive in.  Note: short stories are not included in this category, because I love all my short stories equally (except for one.  You know who you are).

Alright, I think I’ve rambled on for long enough.  I guess I’m in a good mood.  Maybe this one doesn’t have to end in tragedy.

Good luck out there, my lucky (holy shit!) 23 followers.

– The Modern Leper